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Divorce Speeches and Toasts: Divorce Toast to a Young Man (Irreverent) 5 min


Word Count: 872
Price: US$24.90


Speech Abstract

A light hearted and humorous toast to a young man who has recently divorced.  The speech welcomes the young man back into the group of his close drinking friends and requires that the divorcee "scull" several beers to atone for his behavior in becoming enmeshed in marriage in the first place.  Concludes with a sincere toast of good wishes.

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Two years, three months and four days (replace with actual period of marriage) of pure, unadulterated bliss and it is has come to this…the boys enjoying a beer again!  Welcome back (name of divorcee).  Ok, maybe I have ****** **** *** ** *** **************** ****** *** *** ***** * ****** **** *********** ****** **** *** *********** *** *** ********* ***** ** **** *** ******** *** *** ******** ** *** ************* *** ***** ** **** *****

 

A close and educated friend of mine pointed out to me, while I was preparing this ******* **** *** **** ************ *** **** ***** *** ******* *** **** ***** *********** ************** *********** ***** *** ******** ******* ****** ***** ** ********* *** *** ****** ********** ******* ** **** *** ******** **** **** ***** *********** ********* **** **** ******* **** ****** ** **** ******* ******** ****** *** ** **** ********* *********** ** **** ************** * ****** **** ***** **** ** ***** ****** ******* ******* ** **** ***** *** ******* ** **** ******** ** **** **** ******** **** ** ** **** **** **** ** * ******* *** **** ********* ********** *** ****

Let me begin by addressing the matter of your reckless use of your wallet during your ******** ** **** *** **** ******** ************ *** *** *** ** **** ********** ***** ** * ****** ******* *** ******** *********** ***************** ******* * ****** ** ** **** ******** ****** ** ******** *** * **** ***** *** **** ******** ***********

Oh boy, have you failed us!  You transmogrified during your marriage from an economic model to ** ******** ************* *** * **** **** *** **** *** **** ** *** ***** *** *** *** ******** ******** *** ***** ****** ******* ******* **** ****** **** **** ***** ***** ***** * **** ***** **** ** **** ****** *** ******** **** ************ *** ********* ******* ** ******** ******** ** **** ******* ** **** *********** ** *** ********* **** ******** *** *** ** ******* *** *********** *******

Gentlemen, (wave arm at the audience) I put it to you that (name of divorcee) is ****** ** *** ********** *** ** *** ******* *********** ** *** ****** ****** *** ********* **** ****** ** *** ***** *** **** ****** ** *** ****** ******** *** **** ** ****** ************* ** *************** ** **** ** ****** *** * *** ******* *** ********* *** ******** *********** ** * *** ******** **** ******** **** ** ******** ** ******** ***************** ******** *** **** ** ************ ******* *** ********** ***** ** ********* *** **** **** ******* ** **** ***** ** ** ****** ** *** ***** ******* ****** ******* ** ************* ******* **** ******** *********

Charge two – your lack of discipline in your romantic endeavors or, to put it bluntly, **** ******** ************* **** **** ********** ***** *** ******** ** **** ******** *** *** *************** ** ***** ** *** **** **************** *** **** ******** *** **** *********** *********** *** ********* ******** ** **** ***** *** *** **** **** *** ********* ******* ****** ***** ****** ** ********* ** ***** ** **** *** ** ****** ********* *********** ******* * **** **** *** ** ***** *** ********* ************ ******** ********** ** ****** *** ************ *** ******* *** ******* ******* ******* ******* ** **** ***** ********* **** ******** *** ***** ******* ** *** *********** ********** ***** *** ** *** ********* * *** ** **** *** **** ***** ** ********* ** ****** ** *********** **** *** **** **** ** * ************ *** **** ********** ******** **** ***** ******** ************* ** **** ** ****** *** * *** ******* *** ********* *** ******** *********** ** *** ******* *** ********** **** ******** **** ** ******** ** ******** ***************** ******** *** **** ** ************ ******* *** ********** ***** ** ********* *** **** **** ******* ** **** ***** ** ** ****** ** *** ****** ******* ****** ******* ** ************* ******* **** ******** *********

(Name of divorcee) it brings me no pleasure to come to the third and perhaps most ******* ****** *** ******** **** **************** **** ** ******* ***** *** ************ ********* ** **** *************** ****** **** *** *** ** **** *** *** ****** ***** ****** *** **** **** ******** **** ****** ****** ** *********** ** ***** ****** **** ** **** **** ********* *** ************* ****** *** ***** ** ***** *********** *** *********** *** **********

As with the second charge, of which you have already been found guilty, you received the **** *********** ********* *** ********* ******** ** ****** ***** *** *** **** **** ****** * ********** *** ************* ******** **** ***** ** ** **** ********** *** ** ***** ******** *********** ** **** **** ** ***** *********** ************ ** ** *** ** **** ***** ** ********** * *** ** ** **** ******* **** ** **** ******** ** **** ********** *********** ***** ** ********* ****** **** *** ********* * *** ******** **** ******** **** ** ******** * ******* **** *** **** ** **** ** *** ********** *** ** **** ******* * *** ******** **** ******** **** ** ******** ** **** ***** ** ******* *** **** **** *** **** ******

Gentleman, please join with me as I propose a toast to the welfare, health and ongoing ******* ** *** ***** ********* ***** ** **************** ***** * ** *** ******** ****** *** ********* ******* ** ***** ** ********** ******* ***** ************ ********* ****** ******** ** **** *** ***** ********


Price: US$24.90
 
   




   
 
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